Hitting the mental and emotional bottom
Until that moment, I was in deep depression for about half a year with an almost lifelong history of social anxiety, depression and general anxiety. I was 23 and a chain of events and my past mental health struggles all piled up and dragged me down to the deepest depression yet.
My parents started to worry and one day my mom said to me: “There’s a woman who heals with energy. Why don’t you go see her, maybe she can help you. What do you think?”
I was indifferent. I didn’t care. At that point, I was so low I didn’t even care about getting better.
The largest part of my days consisted of lying in bed, starring at the ceiling, sometimes crying. I felt numb. It was for the first time in many years that I didn’t feel at least a tiny bit of excitement even at the thought of things I was most passionate about.
Sometimes it seemed like I knew why I was down but most of the time not really. Or maybe I never really knew, I just invented the reasons to feel better about it because not having answers makes things even harder.
I did try to help myself whenever I could muster a little bit of energy for it. I was reading a book on Bach Flower Remedies (which I highly recommend), made remedy mixes for myself, and practiced autogenic training and self-hypnosis.
All of this helped – I could really feel the difference after some practice. But since depression pretty much equals lack of motivation, I didn’t do it regularly and long enough. I was still deeply depressed with barely any motivation to live, let alone keeping up a regular self-help practice.
The only constructive thing I was doing during that period was taking lessons for my driving license. It was also pretty much the only time I left the apartment.
A tiny wake up moment
One day, when I was on my way home from a driving lesson, I saw a postman walking on the street, whistling a happy melody.
It occurred to me, “That guy is in good mood!”. It felt surprising, like something new – I completely forgot that kind of state even existed!
In that moment I realized how deeply depressed I was and how long it’s been since I was feeling that way. To the point that it became completely normal to me – I got used to it. I forgot that there actually exists a different “normal” state, and that it’s possible to feel lighter inside. I was down for so long that I forgot the state I was in was not “normal”.
Another chance
After my mom’s first suggestion to see an energy therapist (which I ignored), my period of depression continued for another few months when my mom asked me again: “Don’t you want to go see that lady and give it a try?”
I said OK. But I still didn’t really care. I didn’t have any formed opinion about these kinds of therapies and no experience with them before. I didn’t really believe she can help.
Without any expectation, I decided to go and see how it is. I do like to experience different things and explore different layers of our reality, so I was more driven by the curiosity than hope or faith.
The Energy Therapy*
The spiritual healer* was very nice. She wanted to make sure that I came voluntarily and that I didn’t feel forced by my mom to come, to which I assured her I didn’t.
We exchanged only a few sentences and the therapist told me to lay down. She laid her hands next to me or held them above me without touching me. We spent the next hour and a half in silence, exchanging only a few more words.
My eyes were closed most of the time. I was feeling something heavy coming up, sometimes resulting in tears, as if that heaviness was coming to my attention while coming out. But it felt gentle somehow.
After the session, my mom asked me how I felt. I said “I don’t know, it’s strange, I feel somewhat depressed but in a different way.”
My dad, who never believed in these kind of therapies and was sure all this is bullshit to take advantage of people and get money from them, said: “I could do that too – I can make you depressed too!”.
It’s funny I still remember his words. I didn’t reply because it’s pointless to explain these things to someone who’s not open to try them themselves before making a judgment.
I felt something heavy inside but it was different than before. Looking back, I think all that heaviness was on the way out and I was just feeling that process.
After one week, I went to see the energy therapist again. During the first session, she said we would do two longer sessions instead of several short ones because I was soon leaving the country to go back studying abroad.
Those two spiritual healing sessions changed me and my life forever.
A huge heaviness was gone.
I felt light inside. And so, so peaceful. Something I’ve never felt before and never imagined it even existed.
A New Me
In the months that followed, even when I was faced with challenges and when important things didn’t go as I wished, I still felt calm inside.
I knew everything was ok. Even if my rational mind didn’t quite agree, deep down I somehow knew things were going to be ok and that everything is flowing just as it should.
And it was. In the end, things really turned around and turned out wonderfully, just as I wished.
After those two energy therapy sessions, I became a different person. More open to people, more relaxed, with so much more joy and peace inside. More lightness. I finally felt free from the social anxiety disorder! Depression and general anxiety were all gone too!
This doesn’t mean I was happy and in good mood all the time. My social anxiety sometimes showed up again but in much lighter versions. I was feeling so much lighter inside and if I was in a bad mood or feeling anxious, I knew the reasons for it.
This was not the case until that point! All my life before that, I had regular and long lasting attacks of low mood and anxiety for no apparent reason.
I was amazed that this lady healed me (though she’d always say she doesn’t heal, she just channels the spiritual energy) from a lifelong social and general anxiety and depression without even touching me.
It proved to me that there’s so much more to life than just what we can see and touch.
Fast Forward 20 years
It’s been almost 20 years since then, and I’ve seen several other energy therapists after that. Mostly because I gained interest in this area and as mentioned earlier, I like to explore different layers of our reality.
As life brought me new challenges, I sought help in different kinds of energy or spiritual therapies. I was lucky that I always got in touch with those therapists through recommendations of other people and they were all good. Some of them don’t work anymore in this field and with some I lost touch.
My recommendation based on personal experience
A few years ago, I met a holistic healer which I can recommend and feel blessed to call my friend: Ana Bergant.
Her treatments helped me many times in different situations and one thing they always do without failing is calm me down and help me get back in touch with my center, my true self.
To give you just one example: After losing someone close to me, I was crying for two months every single day. I was helpless under the heaviness of grief. Which is ok because I believe it’s healthy to allow the process of grief to happen and to accept it. But after a while, it started feeling too heavy, too much, too many intense emotions I didn’t know what to do with. I didn’t want the grief to lead into a long term depression.
After just one session with Ana, the daily crying stopped. I felt somewhat normal again, whatever that means. Of course, the grief was not all gone, I think it never is. We just learn to live with it, and this is what that therapy session helped me do.
Get (back) in touch (with your true self)
If you’d like to overcome your social anxiety (or anything else!) and find out how it feels to feel peace inside, get in touch with Ana through email on her website. She offers different kinds of energy treatments online or in person, adapted to your needs and wishes. She’s also an amazing human being! So don’t be afraid, she doesn’t bite. 😉
If you decide to get a treatment with Ana, let me know how it went – I’d love to hear about your experience!
A few more thoughts…
To finish off, I can tell you this: I have no idea where I’d be without energy and spiritual therapies but I’m extremely grateful and blessed to have the opportunity to experience them. They help me go through challenges, help me heal and get in touch with my true self.
Many people think that they were born with anxiety and maybe it’s true – emotions can get transferred from mother to child. But that does not mean anxiety is an inherent part of you!
Spiritual healing sessions made me realize that our true self is not riddled with anxiety and depression. It’s also not euphoric and jumping for joy and happiness. Our true self is a state of an all-encompassing peace.
Energy treatments are one of those things that helped me grow most and I suggest everyone to give it a try – or two!
* I realize that the words energy / spiritual and treatments / therapy / session / healing don’t necessarily have the same meaning but I use them interchangeably because I experienced and explored several different options and they all had a very similar effect. In my experience, the biggest importance lies in the choice of the healer or therapist and in our readiness move forward, rather than in the choice of words and techniques.
Wow, I have never heard of an energy therapist. I live in Australia and must look into this for my son and some of my counselling clients. Do you know how many sessions they recommend? Or is this an individual thing based on the person? Thank you for such an interesting article.
Hi Melanie, I think it mainly depends on the person, the therapist and the type of therapy, as well as how rooted the problem is. I was struggling with depression and anxiety ever since I could remember, so it was deeply rooted, but it still took only two sessions to make huge inner (and consequently external) changes in my life. I hope you find a good therapist!
What a powerful and inspiring story! Your journey through depression and anxiety to finding peace and healing through energy therapy really resonates. I love how you described that moment of realization when you saw the postman in a good mood—it’s incredible how we can forget what “normal” feels like until we catch a glimpse of it. Your openness about your experiences, especially with spiritual healing, offers so much hope to others who may feel stuck in similar struggles. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and transformative part of your life!
Thank you for your comment Anna – I’m glad you enjoyed reading my story!