You’re sitting in the classroom and your teacher asks you something in front of the whole class. Or you’re at work and your boss suddenly calls you out in front of your colleagues.
Your heart starts racing. Your face turns red. Your body shakes.
Your mind goes blank.
“How should I reply? Everyone is staring at me! Now everyone noticed I’m nervous. I’m making such a fool of myself! I better find something good to say quickly!”
Don’t you wish there was a magic pill that would make all anxiety disappear in moments like this?
“Quick and easy” is what most people are looking for when it comes to searching for solutions to their problems.
Trying to find a medication that will cure your social anxiety might sound like a great idea.
But medication can’t cure social anxiety because social anxiety is not a disease.
As I wrote in my article 3 Reasons Why You Can Overcome Social Anxiety, fear of people and social situations is a consequence of what you’ve learned in the past. The fear is an outcome of your thought and belief patterns, which mostly lie in your subconscious mind.
Of course, medication can alter your state of mind and feelings, and make you feel better while you’re under its influence.
It might actually help you ease the symptoms caused by social anxiety, especially if you’re dealing with a severe form, but medication definitely won’t do it all for you. Behind social phobia lies a deep feeling of inferiority and you can’t cure that with pills.
If you want to truly overcome social anxiety in the long run, you still have to put in the work and transform your thoughts, beliefs, and habits that got you in the state you’re in right now.
Do you wonder how to do that?
Check out my extensive article on How to Overcome Social Anxiety in 9 Fundamental Steps, or if you want a real, more in-depth answer that will truly help you overcome your fears and live the social life you want, get a hold of my book “Bye Bye, Social Anxiety”.
What about alternative and natural social anxiety medication?
There are many alternative and natural medications worth mentioning so I will write a separate article about it soon. But for now, one thing I strongly recommend is Bach Flower Remedies, because they have helped me remarkably.
In conclusion, medication for anxiety can help you deal with the stress of putting yourself out there, and help you in the short-term. It won’t, however, address the root causes of social anxiety. Only you can transform those belief patterns that have created a lack of confidence and feeling of inferiority within you. No pill will do that for you.
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Since I have and still have medication for my anxiety, I totally agreee that relief will not come from a pill. I am trying to become more aware of what makes me so anxious sometimes to the point of hands shaking and weak knees in order to figure out what to do about it.
The biggest problem I have right now is traveling alone. I need to fly to see my daughter and grandkids but I made a reservation and then cancelled it. I lost the money I had spent on the ticket by canceling. I have a couple of medical issues and am afraid I won’t be able to do everything I need to get to & into my seat. The pain in my shoulders, etc. makes it impossible to move freely. I know I won’t ask for help. Painfully shy!
Hi Camille, sorry for not replying earlier – somehow your comment got lost among others and I saw it only now! I hope you do find strenght to ask for help. Living with social anxiety is already painful enough, so please don’t go through this alone. I know it’s hard to open up, especially because social anxiety makes it a vicious cycle – we are afraid of judgment and rejection, so we don’t want others to know about our struggles. But remember that most people like to help others. Feel free to get in touch if you need to talk! Wishing you all the best.
Hey Barbara! How long did it take you to overcome social anxiety! I purchased your book. Hope it helps. Life is not fun with social anxiety. I will let you know how it goes. I really want to feal confident and really live the life I always wanted to. Did social anxiety effect your choses of careers. I was to scared to attend college. So, that alone has limited me in career choices.
Hi Gerry! Thank you for purchasing my book. I’d love to hear about your progress, so please keep in touch and as promised, I’ll reply to any questions that might come up along the way.
Regarding how long it took me, it’s hard to put a time because it’s a progressive change. From when my social anxiety was at its worst to when it didn’t limit or influence my life too drastically anymore, I’d say it took about two years, but it would take half that time or much less if I had all the info I put in the book and worked daily on myself (instead, it was more like weekly or even less). Once I started working on myself more, I could feel the progress much more too.
Regarding my career choices, it didn’t really affect the choice itself, but it did affect my career a lot. I’m sure I’d be much more successful if social anxiety didn’t influence my work. On the other hand, since I love what I do, my career was actually a big motivator to get better, act in spite of fear and overcome it. I mention it in the book too… it really helps to have values as a guide and motivator.
Also, if you’re open to energy healing, I highly recommend the following Bach Flower Remedies (preferably the original ones with this label: http://bit.ly/Bach-Larch) : Larch, Pine and Star of Bethlehem (if your social anxiety was caused by traumatic experiences, which is usally the case). There might be more of them that would be helpful but these are the basic ones. You can Google them to find out more… I didn’t mention them in the book because it’s a large topic and wanted to write a separate book about it but then got too busy… hopefully soon!
Very helpful blog, thanks for sharing. I personally don’t suffer from social anxiety, however, I have close friends and family that do. Coming from their experience, they share how practice makes perfect method really helps! How they gradually build up their comfortability to be in larger group settings. Do you have any tips regarding that?
Hi Hannah, in my experience, building confidence gradually with small steps is a great way to overcome social anxiety. Everyone has their own limit of their comfort zone, so we need to define what those limits are for us and push through a little bit every time.
Once you can get at least a little bit comfortable with people (even though you still have social anxiety) I found it works well to kind of “forcefully” build up positive energy inside of you and use it for a positive, happy approach to people. It’s basically “fake it ’til you make it” method, putting yourself in a good mood, just like you are with your close friends… and in the end you really feel better inside, not just faking it.
What I found even more effective (and easier!) is to focus on what I love about people and see them in a positive, loving light (instead of seeing them as some monsters who are only waiting to judge me).
Hope this helps a bit. Thanks for your comment!